Avengers: A Review


Avengers is blowing up worldwide. Even in Sri Lanka, the 3D cinema (Majestic) is booked for days in advance. I caught the film this Wednesday and here’s what I thought. Basically, it’s entertaining fare.

I was never an Avengers fan. None of them really. More of a Spiderman or Batman, er, man. I went back (via the Marvel app) and read the very first comic and it’s, well, kinda hokey. Loki, the Norse God, frames the Hulk and a bunch of ham radio operators – trying to reach the Fantastic Four – accidentally assemble the Avengers. In their rec room. I think the whole thing ends in a circus. Anyways.

In the movie the setup is more.. set up… built over the prior series of films (Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, and sorta Hulk). Rather than ham radio operators, the Avengers are summoned by Nick Fury and some big world government cabal. Anyways, who needs a plot rehash. Let’s just jump into some semi-spoilers. These are just some funny ‘fucking why’ moments in the film. They don’t make it any less entertaining.

Seriously, Why

  1. Why is anyone using handguns? People are firing pistols at helicopters, fucking alien space ships, the Hulk. Fucking why.
  2. Hulk’s pants. What’s up with that. Shirt rips but pants stay on. Except he still wakes up naked. It’s like every TV sex scene where the characters cuddle post-sex with the bras and pants on. I mean, they’re not doing it right. I wonder what happens to Banners penis when he goes Hulk. Lot of blood flow. He must be erect.
  3. Why is SHIELD using a flying fortress? There are only like 10 people on there who are actually doing anything, and they’re never actually going anywhere. Everything else is just a bunch of idiots and expensive machinery to save. The thing doesn’t need to be flying and it doesn’t need to be a fortress. They could’ve literally had the Avengers meetup at a coffeeshop.
  4. Nuclear weapons are like Siddhalepa for the American psyche. They will apply them to anything. Just saying. And why don’t the aliens have some awesome weapon? Instead they send fucking foot soldiers with what are basically AK-47s.

The Fun Parts

That’s enough. Those are points you kinda reanimate disbelief, but they don’t make the movie less fun. And it is a fun movie. I like Iron Man and Thor, Captain America has some good jokes, and this Hulk is by far the best incarnation of Hollywood’s multiple attempts.

I normally don’t like fight scenes, but the battle was very well choreographed and built around story-telling rather than effects. You could follow what was going on and you gave a shit unlike, say, Transformers.

They go through the Anne Of Green Gables/Gilbert trope of having the characters hate and then like each other which is fine. I mean, not genius, but they’re all pretty good actors and it kinda works. Except for Hawkeye and Black Widow, who have no superpowers and who I don’t quite get what they’re doing there. But the Hulk was cool. I thought he developed emotionally.

The dialogue is good, it’s entertaining, fine. There isn’t the same arc of self-discovery and fun as, say, the first Iron Man, but it’s not the mindless romp and pomp of Iron Man 2. It’s a good film, if not a great one. I’d say check it out, but you need to book for days in advance. Try ticketslk.


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